Thursday, April 29, 2010

TV Review: Brothers and Sisters

Alright, I've watched Brothers and Sisters (or as the highly educated call it, Bros and Hos) for quite a while and the show has had some ups and downs for me. I'd call this season a down, for sure. Granted, it's not dead Meredith/deer revival/tumor fantasy bad like Grey's Anatomy, but things haven't been great. I would like to take this time to offer a general outline for an episode of Bros and Hos, but first I must introduce you to our cast of characters.

Nora. Everything you need to know about Nora comes from the fact that she's played by Sally Field. Thing Steel Magnolias plus a different set of babies. Nora pretty much spends the entire hour complaining about her children's lives and trying to meddle/control them. Occasionally she gets a love interest, but it's always gross and weird because she's old. Old love is nasty.

I'm sorry if this picture made anyone vomit.

Sarah. Sarah is Nora's oldest child and one of the titular Bros and Hos, because she has several siblings. Haha tit-u-lar. Anyway, she's the best character and given this season, that's not saying much. She has a French boyfriend, played by the naked guy in the Sex and the City movie. This is a pretty good storyline, but when anything has to deal with Ojai (pronounced Oh Hi, but sometimes my brain turns it into Oh HAYYYYY) Foods, which is the family business, this get super duper annoying. More on this later.

Tommy. Tommy is the worst character times one thousand. He was so bad he was written off of the show for a while, but I also suspect the actor who plays him is a giant turd. Look up Balthazar Getty and you'll probably see some pictures of him with Sienna Miller that make you wonder how he bagged her because he's uglier and less successful. RUN-ON! Tommy's role is to bitch about everything. "Wahhhh Sarah got to be CEO of Ojai. She has a business degree and more experience, but I'm entitled because I'm a man and she's a lady." "Wahhh my wife left me even though I made illegal business deals and disappeared to Mexico right after our child was born. Pity me." "Wahhhh NOBODY LIKES ME."

Kevin. Kevin is the gay child. He's super uptight, which is reflected in the fact that he's a lawyer and a political campaign manager. He's pretty tolerable, given that his partner Scottie is perhaps the most sympathetic tertiary character here. However, his most recent storyline is absurd.

OMG I'm already tired and I don't even want to finish. I'll give extremely brief descriptions of the other characters.

Kitty. Republican and uptight.

Justin. Former druggie and maybe dyslexic, now in med school. Was in army, like Buster Bluth.

Alright, these are the Bros and Hos. Anyway, the show used to be super engaging and dramatic, with hidden mistresses and secret children, but now it's sort of become a caricature of itself. Either the episode is super formulaic, or they develop a highly implausible new plotline.

I've taken the liberty of writing a template script.

(Kitty on phone)

Kitty: Hay Sarah, I'm planning to do something political but since mom is a liberal and generally resents my conservatism, keep it a secret.

Sarah: Oh for sure, this will never get out. PS this is actually a three-way call and Kevin is on the line.

Kevin: Sorry I can't talk, I have to go off to some lawyer thing, but I'm here with Justin talking about legal blah blah blah and you're on speaker phone so he knows too.

Justin: Yeah and I just texted messaged everyone alive except for Nora, so clearly this secret will never get out. Can't wait for our big family dinner where we drink wine and blurt things!

Sarah: Alright, I have to go into work at Ojai with our dad's former mistress who now owns half of the company, kind of inexplicably, and has a daughter that's married to Justin, which is kind of weird if you stop to think about it.

Cut to family dinner after secret is revealed.


Then they make up and everything is back to normal. I actually managed to get a picture of the Bros and Hos storyboard for the series:

That being said, it still makes me cry a lot and the acting is good.

Rating: 3/5 stars

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