Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Single Review: Not Myself Tonight

Christina Aguilera is back with a new single, which I will attempt to analyze. This will be done principally through two highly scientific methods:

1. I will play the song and write down my thoughts as they happen
2. I will make sense of those thoughts

Writing the thoughts:

-This instantly sounds super super gay
-I thought she already did Dirrty?
-Oh wait, Dirrty had a melody. I dunno what this is.
-Ohhh she said the f-word. Edgy.
-I'm bored. Do I have enough ham for a sandwich?
-F-word again. My apartment has a flag in it. Our windows are open. This song is lame.
-Musical interlude. Spoken interlude. Moaning interlude?
-The song has no ending

Ok, that's it! Time to do some intense analysis on these thoughts. Conclusion:

This song sucks. I can't even remember the tune anymore. I doubt even Ciara would record this track, and she is desperate. I'm pretty sure a record executive went to Ciara, said "Hey, will you record this track?" and she reacted like this:

PS Ciara is looking really good in this photo.

Rating: 2/5 stars

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