Album Review: MAYA

First of all, I'm sorry that I'm too lazy to do the crazy typographic spelling of M.I.A.'s latest creation. Apparently she wanted to do something that was un-Google-able, but since everyone else on the internet is as lazy as I am, all you have to do is type "Maya" and you'll find information on the cd.

Second of all, IMMA WRITE A REVIEW.

Word. I guess I'm in a weird mood.

Anyway, if you've read reviews of the album, they either fall into one of two categories:

ARGH THIS ISN'T MUSIC THIS IS JUST NOISE, WHAT THE HELL THERE'S NOT MUSIC HERE THIS ISN'T ART M.I.A. IS CRAZY AND THIS IS TERRIBLE UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH BLAH BLAH VOMIT IM PEREZ HILTON AND I'M UGLY AND USE INCONSISTENT APOSTROPHES. Or something.

Other reviews sound something like this:

WOWOWOWOWOW THIS IS AMAZING, M.I.A. HAS DONE IT AGAIN, WHAT BRILLIANT COMMENTARY ON OUR SOCIETY, SHE'S SO EDGY I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HOW WILL SHE PUSH THE BOUNDARIES NEXT LOLZCOPTERROFLMONKEYPISS.

The bottom line is that everyone who has reviewed the album is basically crazy and it's hard to find something that doesn't have an inherent bias. Well, you probably won't find unbiased here because I'm like the most subjective reviewer of all time, but AT LEAST I'M TELLING YOU UP FRONT AND USING APOSTROPHES IN THE WAY THEY WERE INTENDED TO BE USED. Yes, I am crazy too.

So, I guess the best way to describe MAYA is through a picture.

You can look at this and think "OMG this is ART" or "OMG some lazy asshole just threw a bunch of paint together and is getting way too much credit for his work." Same thought processes apply to her album AND my reaction to this painting is the same as my reaction to the album.

Riha says, "Well, I guess I recognize that this is art, but it isn't really a whole lot of fun to look at." Exchange "look" with "listen" and "at" with "to" and maybe throw something else on there so I'm not ending with a preposition and you have my gut reaction to this cd.

For every poppy number, like XXXO, you have a six minute snooze fest like Teqkilla, which is pretty much weird noises for its overblown duration. Yes, it's clear to me that she's making a statement about technology and its domination of our society. Yes, I think she makes her point in an interesting and powerful way. Yes, I think she's creative and I admire what she's doing. But the bottom line is that these tracks aren't quite catchy enough for me to hit the replay button. It's no Kala, that's fo' sho.

Maybe the fame of Paper Planes got to her head, so she worked overtime to create something edgy and alternative. To that I reply, WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING. I KNOW. I'M CRAZY. LOOK AT THESE CAP LOCKS. BUT ANYWAY, NOBODY DOUBTS THAT YOU'RE NUTS. YOU PERFORMED AT THE GRAMMY AWARDS IN A MICKEY MOUSE OUTFIT LIKE SIX HOURS BEFORE YOU GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY YOU NAMED IKHYD, WHICH SOUNDS LIKE ICK-IT.

Who does that?!? I guess for the sake of sanity, I'll land somewhere in the middle.

Rating: 3/5 stars.