Album Review: Born This Way

I'll be the first to admit I wanted to use Born This Way to take a dump on GaGa for constantly overstating her musical importance. She might not realize this, but her music isn't the greatest thing to happen in the history of time.

Yet, I can't help but feel consistently entertained by her new album. It would be sort of a bitch move to knock the album for GaGa's 'tude, especially since there aren't any actual tracks on the disc entitled, "THE GREATEST SONG IN HISTORY," or something similar.

So, here are my quick thoughts:

1. Judas is probably the 10th best song on the 14 song set, so I have no idea why the eff she choose it as a single.

2. As much as this CD is full of weird dance pop and references to unicorns (no joke), my favorite track is probably the mid-tempo power ballad, You and I.

3. If asked to summarize the album in four words, I would say: Springsteen. Disco. 80s. Crazy.

4. I hope her next album is a spin-off of Government Hooker. Specifically, the operatic introduction.

5. Her music videos for this set have been comparatively disappointing. I'm still waiting to find out what happened to Beyonce and GaGa after they drove off at the end of the Telephone video. Aside from some generous scissoring (I hope).

6. I am really hungry right now. Chinese food time.

Alright, that's all folks.

Rating: 4/5 stars. Yep, bet you didn't think I'd be that generous.

TV Review: American Idol Season 10

A few observations:

1. Randy Jackson is not Simon Cowell. I know he thinks he is, but he isn't. For example, Simon can get away with wearing tight t-shirts. Also, Simon infrequently says ridiculous things. "In it to win it" isn't feedback. It could almost be substituted with, "you auditioned for American Idol!" Ugh he's such an asshat. He should be the new spokesperson for Subway Sandwiches.

2. JLO fucking sucks. Not only does she suck for some of her stupid outfits (Chilean miner's wife was a personal favorite), but she says dumb things. Also, of all of the judges, she seems to have the biggest biases.

3. Steven Tyler is alright. Maddeningly positive, but alright. He gets a pass.

4. There's a lot of raw talent this season, but apparently those contestants have no idea how to use it without seeming crazy. See: Jacob Lusk, Casey Abrahms, Haley Reinhart pre-Elton John night, Naima Adedapo, etc

5. Remember all of the drama when Pia got eliminated? Yeah, I can't either. Because I don't think a single person cares about her now that Haley emerged as the season's alpha female.

6. Remember that time that Haley's top 3 elimination turned out to be the most upsetting, even though she made it much further than both Pia and Casey? I do. Boy, I do.

7. Does anybody actually have a strong emotional investment in either of the top 2? I don't care if either of them win.

8. I'm ok with The X Factor and The Voice being my singing shows for the upcoming TV season.

Rating: 2/5 stars, with 1.5 of those stars coming solely from Haley Reinhart.

Movie Review: Bridesmaids

So per my previous post, here's a quick take on Bridesmaids.

1. Everytime I spell the title, I'm somehow shocked the letter "s" appears twice.

2. The movie is fucking hilarious.

3. (spoiler) Someone poops in the street, so I was bound to like this movie no matter what.

4. Cheri Oteri had fewer scenes than I would have liked. Aka zero scenes.

5. Jon Hamm is a skeezeball in the movie. My group left divided on whether or not we would still hit him as that character. I would still hit that.

6. Because of the movie, I've spent a solid 6-8 hours listening to Wilson Phillips on repeat.

7. Related to my earlier point about spelling, spell check doesn't like "everytime." Um, why don't you ask Britney Spears about that word, stupid computer dictionary!

Rating: 4.5/5 Stars. Minus 0.5 for lack of Cheri Oteri.

Riha Reviews Update

Hey friends,

So I know I'm really terrible about updating this. I think I'm going to make an attempt to post more often, but my reviews will be much shorter...sort of like a "quick bite" sort of thing. I feel like I've used the "quick bite" terminology before. I'm inventive.

ANYWAY! Let me know what you think of this!!

-Riha

Bests (and Worsts) of 2010: Movies

Heyyyyyyyy everyone!

In keeping with this trend of actually blogging, I'm blogging. I don't know if I'll go blog crazy like I did before switching jobs, but I'm gonna blog whenever possible. Blog. Also, I've forgotten how to write. Slash blog. Blog again. Blog. Ok, I'll stop now.

Anyhizzle, I never did 2010 justice with any "best of" lists, so I'm going to try and do that here. I'll also throw in some "worsts" just for comedic value. Let's do this.

Best Movies of 2010

Before I get cracking, I'm going to say that a few of you might have seen an earlier version of this list. However, since I am indecisive, you'll note that this list is different. Consider this the final version.

10. Easy A

Sure, some of the running jokes get a little tired. But Emma Stone is a pocketful of sunshine here (if you've seen the movie, what I wrote is really clever. Like Aaron Sorkin clever) and I was entertained. I'll take a B+ attempt at Clueless/Mean Girls glory over a pretentious arthouse flick any day of the week.

9. The Ghost Writer

Roman Polanski is a creep-ball. But this movie is good enough that I'd pardon him for his crime. Well, maybe not for statutory rape, but I'd pardon him for like arson or something.

8. True Grit

Hailee Steinfeld is a pistol in this movie and holds her own against Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon. I guess if Jeff Bridges weren't a factor, that previous statement wouldn't be much of a compliment.

7. Toy Story 3

As you'll see, this isn't my favorite animated movie for the year (and yes, I saw more than one animated picture this year, don't hate), but it's still damn good. The last 15 minutes make me a blubbering wreck everytime. Well, I only saw the film once so I'm sort of speculating about the "everytime" part of that last sentence. But I'd guess it's true.

6. Inception

Love this movie, and not just because I've turned its title into a verb about getting drunk off of margaritas (inquire within for details).

5. The Social Network

Is it weird that my favorite aspects of this film are the score and editing? It may not have won Best Picture at the Oscars...and it isn't really winning Best Picture here, but I'm sure it'll be known in 100 years as "the movie that Jesse Eisenberg, the star of the culturally significant Zombieland, made later in order to act like himself for two hours."

4. How to Train Your Dragon

This is my favorite animated movie of the year. Sure, it's not as well-animated as Toy Story 3, the story isn't as well-written, and the voice acting is a little off...but somehow this story manages to transcend all of these setbacks to create something magical. Watch it and try not to cry a whole bunch.

3. 127 Hours

Make sure you're armed (HA) with fortitude before you see this film. But it's totally worth it. You'll probably like it even more if you have a fetish for drinking pee. But seriously, see it.

2. Winter's Bone

Aside from the "teehee" factor associated with the title, this movie is damn good. Plus the title.

1. Black Swan

Aside from loving this film like whoa, it's given me license to run around my office yelling, "GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR BLACK SWAN," and "IT'S MY TURN." You'd be surprised how versatile those quotes are.

Worst movie of the year:

Sex and the City 2. Just read my full review. Jesus.

Country Strong. How can I like the music so much and think the film is so bad? I don't get it.

I wish I had more examples...but I actually liked The Other Guys, Burlesque was entertaining even though it was ridiculous, and I can't legitimately list the King's Speech here because it's objectively a solid film. Luckily, Sex and the City 2 is so awful that it makes up for all of these flaws. Country Strong isn't nearly as awful, but it still sucks dog turds.

All About the Oscars

Well, it's that time of year again. Oscars! Most of you probably know how batshit obsessed I am with this awards ceremony, despite its triviality, so naturally this event marks my overdue return to blogging. Without further ado, I would like to offer my predictions in several major categories, along with my personal preference for the win. Well, ok, I guess here's a quick "ado" (whatever that means) before I get going: I have very strong, irrational feelings about some of the nominees this year. So if I come down too hard on one of your favorites, don't worry...it's me, not you. This year has some of the strongest nominees I've seen in a long while and I just want to compliment AMPAS on a job well done. Perhaps my personal ire this year comes from the fact that the nominees are SO GOOD and some of the winners might be SO COMPARATIVELY UNDESERVING. Blerghzilla. Anyway, let me direct my rant in some more specific ways...

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Will Win: Christian Bale. I know there are some rumblings that Geoffrey Rush will win as a part of a King's Speech sweep, but having seen all of the nominated performances, save Renner, I cannot imagine a world where Bale walks away empty handed. Not only was his work a tour-de-force (that's a technical acting term for over-the-top), but he lost a bunch of weight, changed his hair, and put on an accent. Oscar loves that shit, so I expect Bale to triumph on Sunday,

pending any on-set meltdowns.

My Pick: John Hawkes. Don't get me wrong, I think Bale is great. I think there's a difference between overacting and having a very loud character. Bale was the latter, and managed to accomplish a great deal in The Fighter. I will feel very good about his likely victory. However, Hawkes' meth head in Winter's Bone is infinitely more real (another technical acting term thrown around a lot) and in my mind, that's the better performance. For the other nominees, I haven't seen Renner and I agree with my friend who says that, "RUSH IS JUST BEING HIMSELF IN KING'S SPEECH, UGH I HATE THAT." However, I would also extend that statement to Mark Ruffalo in The Kids are All Right.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Will Win: Hailee Steinfeld. Admittedly, this prediction is a risk. Steinfeld hasn't won any major awards, and Melissa Leo has been cleaning house ever since the Globes in January, with a small upset at the BAFTAS where Helena Bonham Carter prevailed. Conventional wisdom would say Leo will win, with Carter as the most likely upset. However, I can't shake a gut feeling that Steinfeld is a threat here. Best Supporting Actress is historically the most unpredictable category, plus it's the category most likely to recognize a young performer. Furthermore, Steinfeld is incredible in True Grit and I think the fact that True Grit received 10 nominations shows strong support for the film. Finally, Melissa Leo helped fund some Oscar campaign ads...for herself, which is weird and makes me like her less than I do now. Check this out:

The only thing this picture makes me want to consider is jumping into a live volcano. Still, I think the safe money is to bet on Leo, but my gut is saying Steinfeld.

My Pick: Steinfeld. 'Nuff said. The only objection is that her performance isn't a supporting performance. However, that seems like an issue with those that did the nominating. The fact that she's here means I evaluate her against everyone else, and I think she's the best. Leo and Adams would be fine winners (poor Amy, always a bridesmaid) and I haven't seen Weaver. The only performance that shouldn't win is Carter, but being that it's in the King's Speech, she could be a part of their sweep. If the Oscars had a category for "Best One-Note Background Character," Carter would win in a landslide.

BEST ACTOR, LEAD PERFORMANCE

Will Win: Colin Firth. Anyone who thinks anything else is just plain dumb.

My Pick: James Franco. I think this is a very competitive category, and if there's one area where I think The King's Speech deserves an award, it's here. But I give the edge to Franco, who basically was the only person on camera for the duration of 127 Hours and he MADE. THAT. MOVIE. WORK, YO. I can't really decide if Eisenberg is acting brilliantly or just being morose, I haven't seen Bardem, and Bridges is just happy to be here. I liked him in True Grit, but he just doesn't show the range that Firth and Franco do. Finally, I would like to say that if Ryan Gosling had been nominated, he would CLEARLY be my personal choice here. Probably the performance of the year, right there.

BEST ACTRESS, LEAD PERFORMANCE

Will Win: Natalie Portman. Let me start by saying this is a very tight category, loaded with strong performances. Also, let me clarify that my use of the word "tight" is by no means a reference to the fact that two of the actresses here had their boxes munched in their movies. Anyway, I think that an upset in this category wouldn't be hugely surprising, but Natalie definitely has the edge. She's won all of the precursors and she obviously put a lot of effort into her part. There's rumbling of an Annette spoiler, because she's overdue, but I think that seems unlikely.

My Pick: Oh man, I go back and forth here. Honestly, I would probably vote for Natalie even though I think that both Jennifer and Nicole gave performances I admired more. Natalie is just so crucial to the success of Black Swan and clearly she had the most demanding role of the bunch. It's hard to decide if you should reward the person that aces the easy test or celebrate the person that passes the challenging test. So, in my opinion, Natalie deserves this award the most, even though she probably isn't the most gifted actress in the bunch.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Will Win: This is tough. I say the Social Network, but I'm not supremely confident. I can see both Inception and The King's Speech taking this away. The King's Speech is poised to sweep, which includes this category, and Desplat (the composer) is long overdue for an Oscar. Inception has perhaps the most memorable score of the bunch, which I think suggests potential Oscar glory. However, I can't deny the fact that Trent Reznor's score is the most daring of the category and was so crucial to the effectiveness of The Social Network. I think it has the edge.

My Pick: How to Train Your Dragon. Ok, maybe I'm a sucker. I think if push came to shove, I would vote for The Social Network because its score is the most original. I definitely think Reznor captured something special here and it deserves to be rewarded. However, Dragon's score evokes so many dramatic emotions for me. Sure, it's the most purely traditional score in the category, but there isn't one that I just plain like more. It's a shame Black Swan and True Grit were deemed ineligible. Both were great. If all had been nominated, I could see myself voting for Grit.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Will Win: The Social Network. Probably one of the two biggest locks of the night.

My Pick: The Social Network. Come on. What else even comes close?

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Will Win: The King's Speech. Apparently the dude who wrote it is this super charming geezer. Plus this is the movie to beat, with 12 nominations.

My Pick: Inception. I could see a case for several of the movies here, mainly Inception, The Kids are All Right, and Another Year. Since I haven't seen Another Year (I know it's worthy because of the internet, the most reliable source for everything), my pick comes down to Inception versus Kids. Although the dialogue in Kids is superior, the screenplay for Inception had contain all of the details of that film's universe. Mind-boggling. And yes, I chose that term because it works on two levels. So deep.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Will Win: Toy Story 3. This is the other huge lock of the night.

My Pick: How to Train Your Dragon. I SAID IT. IT'S OUT THERE. IT CAN'T BE UNSAID.

OK enough with this, let's get to the two big ones. If you care about my thoughts on cinematography/editing/live action short/other categories that are sort of fillers, hit up the comments. Yes, I know that original score is probably one of those technical categories and it's odd that I singled it out in this post...well, I like music. And this is my blog. I do what I want.

BEST DIRECTOR

Will Win: David Fincher. UGH this is a tough one. Like "Sophie had it easy" tough. So, conventional wisdom would suggest Tom Hooper for The King's Speech. He won the DGA, his film has the most nominations, and a bunch of old cogies are gonna pop some viagra so they can later pop a boner for this film. I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, but basically the King's Speech is popular with old people. Anyway, Hooper has the wind behind he sails. BUT Fincher is the more recognized name, is way overdue, and let's be real--The Social Network is supremely well-directed. So I officially predict a Fincher upset, but Hooper is the safe choice.

My Pick: David Fincher. I mean, say what you will about the Social Network. That movie was well-made. Damn. The technical polish. If I were going for daring, maybe Aronofsky would get my vote for Black Swan.

Before I get to the final category, I would like to point out that I'm watching Brokeback Mountain as I write. You know, that incredibly well-made, moving, Best Picture nominee that lost out to Crash. I've seen a few lists online of the most undeserving Oscar wins throughout history, and Crash usually tops those lists. Well, I won't say more, but I thought this framework was fitting going into the final category. Also, you may note that I talked about a rant at the beginning of this post and, largely, this has been a tame outing thus far. Well, I think my freak flag is about to fly. Get ready.

BEST PICTURE

Will Win: King's Speech. It almost hurts to say more.

My Pick: LITERALLY ANY OTHER OF THE NOMINATED FILMS. TOY STORY 3. 127 HOURS. THE SOCIAL NETWORK. BLACK SWAN. WINTER'S BONE. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT. TRUE GRIT. THE FIGHTER. INCEPTION. PLEASE. ANYTHING. DEAR GOD PLEASE ANYTHING DEAR GOD ANYTHING I WILL DO NASTY THINGS JUST PLEASE NOT THE KING'S SPEECH.

Perhaps I should elaborate. I think Slant Magazine said what I want to say much more eloquently,

"The ascendance of the stuttering king and Oscar's perceived instantaneous regression into the mottled pastures of White Elephant Cinema (how quickly we forget The Reader) has rendered some of our most reliable barometers speechless. Suddenly, the movie no one wanted to pay attention to became the movie all your friends and relatives who see two movies a year have seen and just know is the best picture of the year."

WELL. FUCKING. SAID. Let's forget the whole Social Network vs. King's Speech. Network isn't my favorite film of the year, but I prefer it to King's Speech. I think, looking at those two, I would entertain arguments for one film over the other. NEVER.THE.LESS. I have yet to talk to anyone who's seen all ten nominated pictures and thinks King's Speech is the best. Literally nobody. One of my friends was like, "WTF why not King's Speech?" Yet, when asked to rank his favorite movies of the year, not even he ranked King's Speech number one. I know as I write this, likely someone will stumble across this post and declare that the King's Speech is his or her (or doesn't necessarily ascribe to a gender binary, whatever, everyone is welcome) favorite film. That brings me to my next point.

I can admit that there's a lot to admire about the King's Speech. It's well acted, the script is nice, the sets are fancy (even though Rush's office used to be a gay porn set), the score is ever so dainty, etc. In fact, the whole Social vs King acting as a parallel to Brokeback vs Crash is incredibly blown out of proportion. BUT CONSWARNIT, I DON'T WANT KING'S SPEECH TO WIN. Here's why: I think it's boring. Yeah. It's out there. I watched it, thought it was boring, and then I watched it AGAIN because I felt crazy for disliking it. Guess what, I fell asleep the second time I went. Just to be clear, here's an artistic rendering of me during my first viewing of The King's Speech:

And here I am during the second viewing:

I just can't support a picture so incredibly boring winning so many Oscars. Sure, give it to Firth, he earned it. Even some of the artistic, categories. Why not. But the overall, best movie? No.

But it's going to. So, I might as well just accept that my personal opinion is in the minority and brace for a royal coronation tonight. HEY, THAT WAS A PUN.

So there it is, my take on the Oscars. We'll see what happens tonight!

The Summer in Pop Culture: A Retrospective

Hello all,

I won't belabor the point that I've been MIA recently. Apologies to all, especially those that have been requesting new material. To my fans, I've let you down. There's no excuse, but take solace that I now know exactly how Christina Aguilera feels.

So, the purpose of this post is to briefly share my thoughts on some of the summer's movies, music, and tv that I managed to catch while not working 14 hour days. Before that, I would like to give a shout-out to my girl, Lindsay Lohan. She's been a constant source of amusement, because she's a whiny, cracked-out bitch who threw a huge temper-tantrum about going to jail for like a hot second. I have absolutely no doubts that she hasn't changed at all and she will never manage to Britney Spears her way out of this publicity mess. When I've had hard days, Lindsay, your life has always made me feel better about myself. Thank you.

So, let's get to it. THIS REVIEW HAS SPOILERS SO YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. I will limit my spoilers to the specific piece of pop culture I am describing at the time. So, if you were reading a section called "Project Runway" you wouldn't have to worry about me inserting a sentence like "AND THEN OMG LEO DICAPRIO DIED AT THE END OF TITANIC." Or maybe I will now. Who knows?

MOVIES

Inception

So, I hope almost everyone that reads this has seen Inception. It's pretty fucking sweet, and Marion Cotillard is by far the most compelling part of the movie. Here's what drives me nuts...Smug hipsters leaving and posting comments like, "Oh hey Brucethor, I totally called that ending." Ok, in the realm of probability, yes, it is possible for someone to have predicted the general feeling of the ending. But really, comments like that make me think that you actually didn't get the ending at all. Perhaps I'm opening a whole forum for discussion and perhaps all of my readers who saw Inception have different takes on the ending, but if y'all disagree with me then you're just plain dumb. I had to say it. Anyway, the ending was deliberately ambiguous. We never know if it was a dream or not. So if some viewer said to himself "I totally think Inception is going to have a deliberately vague ending, to prompt audience debate about the structure of the film," then yes, you called it. However, I think more people were probably like, "I bet it's a dream...or maybe it's not a dream. No it totes is. I'm so thoughtful." GUESS WHAT TURDMONGER, YOU DIDN'T CALL THE ENDING. SO GET OFF YOUR GDAMN HIGH HORSE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Rating: 5/5 stars

The Kids Are Alright

I mean, it was good. Don't get me wrong. But I never ever want to think about Julianne Moore munching on Annette Bening's beef curtains. And that happened in the movie.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

The Other Guys

I will admit it. I was pleasantly surprised at The Other Guys. I suppose it surpassed my wildest expectations. Granted, the film stars Will Ferrell so my expectations were pretty much at Land of the Lost levels. AKA I expected a big pile of baby dung to be flung at me, but instead I got a fairly funny movie. For those who've seen it, The Rock and Samuel L Jackson's finale scene was the best part of the movie. DARTH VADER IS LUKE'S FATHER.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

Salt

I'll admit that I have a big stiffy for Angelina Jolie, in a metaphorical way. I think pretty much everything she does is great, from helping people in Pakistan to putting that smug bitch Jennifer Aniston in her place. So, it would have take a lot for me to dislike Salt. Hey, I even liked Tomb Raider 2 and that movie STUNK ASS. Objectively. Ergo, I endorse this film. Does the plot even make one bit of sense? HELL NO. But was it a wild and crazy ride? Yes. Much like the New York City subway system after 11pm.

Rating: 3/5 stars

MUSIC

Oh boy. I don't even know where to start here.

I already made a crack at Christina, so Imma let her be, especially since she's staring in a movie with Cher and I really feel like I'll get some bad gay karma if I say more here.

Insatiable, Nadine Coyle

NADINE COYLE IS A FUCKING BITCH! Ok, so most of you probably don't know what's going on with this song/singer. Let me back up and explain. One of my favorite pop groups ever, Girls Aloud, took a year hiatus AFTER SIGNING A THREE ALBUM DEAL to pursue solo projects before reuniting. Cheryl Cole released a solo disc, fully intending to return to Girls Aloud. I don't really know what Sarah and Kimberley were up to and I think Nadine made her own line of sunblock, because she is one pasty-ass mofo. Well, regardless of their activities, they all intended to return to Girls Aloud. I thought Nadine felt the same way, but apparently not. This ball-hair has no intention of returning and plans to stay solo, as evidenced by her new single. I don't care what anybody thinks of it. Even my objective opinion is in the trashcan. I am obligated to hate this ear-fuck with every fiber of my being. Go to Hell, you ugly skank. I can't wait until her album comes out so I can tear her a new, normal-sized vagina, which will sit directly below the pre-existing cavernous gully-trap she already possesses. For those of you who don't know what she looks like, I've included a picture:

Rating: 0/5 stars

OMG UPDATE! Cheryl Cole just released the lead single from her sophomore album, Promise This, and it TAKES A BIG, STINKY, NUTTY DUMP on Nadine's song. Their albums are going to be released one week apart. TEAM CHERYL!!!

Teenage Dream, Katy Perry

To be clear, I am referring to the entire album the soon-to-be Mrs. Caveman is planning to release, not just the single. Hmm ok. Let's just say I had high hopes for this disc. The lead singles were incredibly catchy, with Teenage Dream still remaining the best song on the cd (at least to my ears). Katy employed a "Taylor Swift" strategy of releasing a few songs on iTunes before her album's official release. So for about three weeks I was like, "OH HAY YES A NEW SONG...oh. This is average...BUT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE LOLTASTICALLY AWESOME HAR HAR." This repeated until the album came out, and then for the most part I thought this listening through the entire CD. Very few songs standout and Katy has this tendency to write songs based on some awkward metaphor (Firework=great guy, Peacock=cock, Pearl=nice girl being abused or vagina, etc). The only one I really endorse outside of the singles is The One That Got Away. There's hints of ingenuity there. I'll say it I like Ke$ha's CD better. There.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Body Talk Pt. 2, Robyn

I don't really have many witty things to say here, but I just wanted to make reference to something that was released between the months of May and September that didn't suck titty. This is a good-ass album and I'm super excited about the final chapter coming in wintra-tiemz.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Just for general reference, I will list some songs and review them in one word (which will likely be an invented, hyphenated Riha-speak).

Just the Way You Are, Bruno Mars. Boner-inducer.

Loca, Shakira. Nipple-riser.

Only Girl (In the World), Rihanna. Window-banger. SORRY I COULDN'T RESIST.

Mine, Taylor Swift. Redunda-catchy.

You Lost Me, Christina Aguilera. GoodButCareerReflective. (Pronounced "Gehwd-Butte-Care-Ear-EEEF-leek-t-eye-vee.")

TV

Alright, there hasn't been a ton of TV over the summer, but there's been enough.

Project Runway

Ok, so, I will admit that I haven't been the most loyal Runway watcher in recent years. I guess this woman named Leanne won a season I didn't even watch and I can't even tell you who won the last season without looking it up. I think that's because when a show is really focused on talent and showcasing the designs, it really lives or dies by the personality of the designers. America's Next Top Model, on the other hand, is a show that lives to just serve up some crazy, so it's guaranteed to be entertaining until the crazy is gone. Runway doesn't have that promise. However, I do think this season has started off nicely. There's been some real bitchy drama and I think everyone I know wants to punch Gretchen in the face. And I know her mother. So even though I don't think anyone is anywhere near Christian Siriano levels of talent, at least I'm finally being entertained. That being said, it is sort of bleak when this awkward mansuit is a winning design for a challenge:

The only thing that works are the shoes, and those weren't designed. Also, clever watchers of this season will notice I'm taking another swipe at Gretchen.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

True Blood

Ok, True Blood is a show that definitely caters to its audience. Unlike Glee, however, I have to give True Blood's writers credit for pandering while still showing reverence for the plot. CAVEAT so when I say pandering, I mean like obviously sliding in Eric nudity and a bunch o' gay scenes. My caveat is that Eric's storyline has been great, but there are some storylines that don't contain pandering that kinda suck ass. The whole Sookie/Russell/Eric/Bill shizz has been pretty entertaining, but oh my God I couldn't care less about Sam and his family. Also, Jessica and Lafayette have been super dullsville so far. It's like their characters lived their interesting arcs and now the writers don't have any more good ideas for them. This is exacerbated by the fact that neither of these characters exist at this point in the books, so the writers don't really have anything to go off of. Here are my suggestions for season 4:

1. LET SOOKIE AND ERIC BANG JESUS PLEASE

2. LET SOOKIE AND ALCIDE BANG JESUS PLEASE

3. LET ALCIDE AND ERIC BANG JESUS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

4. Work harder on the stories to make them of equal quality. But this takes less priority than the other three suggestions.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

UGH so I didn't really watch much other exciting TV this summer because of my move and new life. So that's it for me. THE WIZARD OF OZ IS ALL A DREAM.